clickworthy copy

for your website + emails

I kill your boring brand voice and replace it with an unignorable messaging and personality that makes your ideal customers think: “hey, here’s a brand that actually talks like a real, fuggin person who actually gets it. They get me. Finally.”

houston... we have a problem

So many brands suffer from the same 3 problems:

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“Our deliverability is woeful. We need someone to sort the technical mess out to get our emails out of spam, and our customers onto our store!”

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We don’t have time to do email marketing right. We need someone to take ownership of this because we have a huge email list going to waste.”

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“We took a crack at writing emails ourselves, but the copy isn’t converting. Clicks are falling, and the emails make my eyes bleed.”

damn it cj, get out of my head! just tell me, how can you help?

First – the bad news.

I don’t have the flux capacitor. We can’t travel back in time to fix an old hack job.

When you work with me, the only way is forward. We’re not going to waste time trying to polish a dead horse.

Instead, we wipe the slate clean and start over.

If you’ve already dropped a small fortune on a site nobody but your mom or the company accountant reads, you’re probably wary of dipping your toes again.

But here’s the difference when you work with a copywriter like me.
CJ Haughey Copywriter Headshot
a copywriter that takes the goddamn time to get to know your business, your customers, and your goals:

flipping scripts for many moons

From healthcare to HR, B2B SaaS to skincare, here are some game-changing brands proudly flashing my word wizardry.

Never missed a deadline and we rarely needed a second draft

Not only did he take the time to understand our business model and our target audience, but CJ also made it easy to work with. In years of working, he has never missed a deadline and we rarely needed a second draft. I am looking to working with him in the future.

Dejan Gajsek
Head of Marketing at Circuit Stream

Dejan Gajsek - client headshot

my copywriting process

You know how the Pied Piper had a magic flute that could summon rats? Well, my copywriting wields a similar charm, enchanting people to follow your brand.

Let me play a tune for you.

It goes a little something like this:

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Boosted our conversions and open rates

Can’t recommend CJ enough! He really boosted our conversions and open rates. Listening exactly to what I needed, putting great effort into our job, extremely creative, proactive, helpful and friendly. I feel lucky to have met him.

Tilmann Weischer
CEO, Footstock

Till Weischer - client headshot

when the dust settles, here’s what you can look forward to...

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Your value prop nailed so damn good it makes people think you’re their spirit animal.

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Your brand voice meticulously crafted to pull heartstrings, tickle funny bones, and open wallets.

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Your competitors crying into the popcorn they can’t help but munch while reading your site in awe.

choose your destiny

Epic icon
The

epic

$7500

Blockbuster icon
The

blockbuster

$5000

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The

classic trilogy

$3500

A meticulous researcher and talented writer

To be frank, many writers make it extremely difficult for me to NOT poke my eyeballs out with my red pencil. Not so with CJ! He is a meticulous researcher, talented writer, and a super easy person to work with. He has written a handful of articles for Single Grain and most are on the first page of the SERPs — or even at #1! Would not hesitate to recommend him for your content needs!

Selena Templeton
Editorial Content Manager, Single Grain

Selena - client headshot
CJ Haughey Copywriter Headshot

yippee-ki-yay
let's make it happen

Get the ball rolling with a free 20-min chat.

you want the truth? here it is.

No. That dynamic could backfire on either one of us. You could pay too much because good ideas took much longer to emerge than I expected, or I could lose out if they don’t. You’ll be paying for timeless value, so there’s no stop clocks involved.

You want words. I give you words. Lots of business words. Cheap and fast and optimized words. You buy now?

Err, no. Maybe not.

Architects don’t sell bricks. Strategists don’t sell actions. Paying copywriters by the word is the fast lane to fluffy, padded copy devoid of all intelligent strategy, data-driven analysis, and creative thought.

Yes. If we’re aligned on timelines, budget, and processes, I’m sure we can strike a deal that works for both of us.

Indeed I do. Most of my blog work is ghostwriting. But here’s the truth: Writers thrive on bylines – it’s how we grow.

If you’re so kind as to offer a byline for this humble writer, where you publish my name and a backlink with the final piece, you get the same top quality for a little less.

If you’d prefer to show it as someone else’s work, that’s totally cool. Just know, I’ll charge you a little on top to cover the loss of writing credit.

In a nutshell, my blog rates include the following:
🎯 Topic Research
🎯 Competitor Analysis
🎯 Article Outline
🎯 Draft Writing
🎯 SEO spit-polish
🎯 Citations/Links
🎯 Proofreading
🎯 Editing (3x full rounds)
🎯 Admin/Email communications
Discounts are available for batch projects and long-term arrangements with regular, consistent workflows.

As a writer, I rather focus on what I do best. If you don’t have someone to care for graphics in your business, you might need me to include images (or at the very least, image suggestions to help out your editor). In such cases, I can go the extra mile….but the gas ain’t free.

As of May 2021, no. Maybe someday, but I’ll let you know well in advance. No nasty surprises – I promise.

It’s rare, and highly unlikely that I’ll be far off the mark with a first draft because we’ll have hashed out a clear scope before starting.

But, my rates include two full rounds of revisions, so it’s just a matter of collaborative feedback to get things sorted.

It’s unlikely. Typically, I’m booked 2-3 weeks out, with preference given to regular clients. Even if I was free, I would strongly advise against rushed writing. Did you not see the end of Game of Thrones?!

If you absolutely must have your content ASAP, I might be able to help if I reshuffle my schedule, delay some other clients, and burn the midnight oil while my partner soldiers on with our baby. However, in this case, you can expect a 20% rush fee to compensate for the inconvenience (and cost of apology bath bombs and chocolates).

My quotes are based on our agreed scope. For big projects and retainers, we’ll sign a contract that confirms we’re on the same page. Minor changes and revisions are permissible – but if there are significant deviations from the original scope, that’s billable.

If for any reason, you need to cancel a project that I’ve already started, I’ll invoice you for a 50% kill fee for the assassin I send after you to cover the time and effort I’ve already invested, as well as any lost income from opportunities I turned down while engaged with your doomed project.

If we’ve worked together before, or if it’s a small project, I’ll send a single invoice at the end of the month for all projects delivered in that month.

Otherwise, for new clients and larger projects, I’ll send you two invoices:

Invoice #1 – 50% advance deposit. Sent before the project begins. Due immediately (before we start working).

Invoice #2 – The remaining 50%. Sent when the project is done. Due within 15 days.

Bank transfer is preferred. I recommend Wise. It takes a few minutes to set up at first, then it’s quick, and easy payments going forward.

Absofugginlutely.

I can help you with a myriad of copywriting projects, including:

  • Ad Copy
  • Amazon Listings
  • Brochure Copy
  • Copyediting
  • Email copy
  • Landing Pages
  • LinkedIn Profiles
  • Packaging Copy
  • Press Releases
  • Product Descriptions
  • Sales Pages
  • Social Media Captions
  • Taglines
  • Video Scripts
  • Website Audits
  • Website Copy

 

Get in touch to share the details of your project, and I’ll reply with a tailored quote.