i help x do y with z
templates, begone!
innovative businesses don't follow - they lead.
You just found the perfect copywriting sidekick.

you
cj

Have a site that is riddled with dull copy and a 2D personality, which leads to high bounce rates and sudden-onset narcolepsy.

Want a brand voice that influences your customers to take action and breeds fear and jealousy in your competitors.

Need to generate more qualified leads and sales through your website, instead of hopelessly clinging to traffic metrics.

Taps into data and customer research to craft copy that oozes value, relevance, and charm to hook people from top to bottom.

Will bust a gut to create an inimitable, captivating brand voice for every client, making them unmissable in their market.

Never forgets that style is nothing without substance, so only produces focused copy that drives the customer journey forward.

Have a site that is riddled with dull copy and a 2D personality, which leads to high bounce rates and sudden-onset narcolepsy.

Want a brand voice that influences your customers to take action and breeds fear and jealousy in your competitors.

Need to generate more qualified leads and sales through your website, instead of hopelessly clinging to traffic metrics.

Have a site with riddled with dull copy and a 2D personality, which leads to high bounce rates and sudden-onset narcolepsy.

Want a brand voice that influences your customers to take action and breeds fear and jealousy in your competitors.

Need to generate more qualified leads and sales through your website, instead of hopelessly clinging to traffic metrics.

Taps into data and customer research to craft copy that oozes value, relevance, and charm to hook people from top to bottom.

Will bust a gut to create an inimitable, captivating brand voice for every client, making them unmissable in their market.

Never forgets that style is nothing without substance, so only produces focused copy that drives the customer journey forward.

Taps into data and customer research to craft copy that oozes value, relevance, and charm to hook people from top to bottom.

Will bust a gut to create an inimitable, captivating brand voice for every client, making them unmissable in their market.

Never forgets that style is nothing without substance, so only produces focused copy that drives the customer journey forward.
what?! did we just become best friends?
Get the ball rolling with a free 20-min chat.
what’s the craic?
(That’s Irish for “How are you? What’s happening?”)
Here’s the big secret to marketing success and selling more:
Storytelling.
That’s right – stories.
The ones that leave an unforgettable impression, taking root in the mind, making people ponder long after the experience ends.
So that it’s never really over.
People gobble that stuff up. It’s human nature.
As a fiction addict, and creative copywriter, I love to help brands tell their story, so they can connect with more people.
What’s your story?
christopher john haughey
What a mouthful.
CJ will do just fine.
- Father-of-two. Son-of-two.
- Manchester Utd fan (for my sins)
- Amateur kickboxer & crypto trader
why work with me?
I'm a...
- Former journalist
- Organizational nerd
- SaaS technology fanatic
- Buyer psychology wizard
pssst… i know what you’re thinking.
You don’t have time to read my autobiography. You just wanna’ know if I’m your guy.
Now feels like a good time to tell you my forte as a direct response copywriter is to combine proven frameworks and buyer psychology with strategic storytelling.
Which means…?
Your brand can build meaningful personal connections with your customers, earn their trust, so they buy more of your product or services
New organic search traffic and higher website engagement.
CJ has a great understanding of enterprise tech. My favorite thing about working with CJ is his ability to take abstract ideas and create flowing, compelling copy and content. His work has led to new organic search traffic and higher website engagement.
Emily Williams
VP, Consulting Sales, Doppio Group

are we aligned?
my 5 copywriting principles
I don’t dive in like some knucklehead with an itchy trigger finger. For me, communication and clarity are critical pillars that determine the success of any project. Before our mission begins, I make sure we’re on the same page with a crystal-clear scope that outlines the project, including goals, milestones, timelines, deliverables, and payment.
Of course, your goals for conversions and sales are paramount. But stodgy sales jargon and corporate humdrum are my kryptonite. I use voice-of-customer research to produce conversational dialogue that reveals your brand’s charming personality and seemingly telepathic powers, making you more relatable, likeable, and captivating.

All the creative wordplay comes second to your business goals. It doesn’t matter how many rough drafts and coffee refills have gone before. When the dust settles, rest assured, the final cut will be free of all fluff, and directed by data insights and research on what your customers actually want and need.

Honesty street: If I believe I lack the knowledge, passion, or desire to educate myself enough to kick ass on your project, I’ll tell you. Instead of bumbling our way to a B-rate product, I’ll try to hook you up with someone who is a better fit.
“If you’re not innovating, you’re regurgitating. it’s time to tell the story only you can tell.”
so, you can pull this off, right?
I have a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career.
Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you your competitors.
when i’m not writing copy, you’ll find me:

Soaking up wisdom from marketing masters, old and new. From Ogilvy and Schwartz to Godin and Wiebe.

Setting my mind free in fiction novels, like a cerebral hunter-gatherer foraging for inventive ideas from outside-the-barnyard.

Tinkering with my internal processes and systems to ensure I’ve got a well-oiled machine that delivers primo-grade, on time, every time.
learning
Soaking up wisdom from marketing masters, old and new. From Ogilvy and Schwartz to Patel, Wiebe, and Vee.
adventuring
Setting my mind free in fiction novels, like a cerebral hunter-gatherer foraging for inventive ideas from outside-the-box.
testing
Tinkering with my internal processes and systems to ensure my clients always have a reliable, well-oiled machine that delivers primo grade, on time, every time.
but enough about me
let’s talk about you
(and your project)
You can finally talk to an expert direct response copywriter (and expert listener) who can bring your vision to life with an unmistakable brand voice and persuasive messaging that hits your ideal customers right in the heartstrings.
you could wait for my waitlist to grow longer.
Or you could take action right now to get one step closer to:
- Unshackling your business from the dead weight of sloppy copy
- Establishing an authority voice that magnifies your reputation as a heavy hitter
- Opening the floodgates so your sales team has tons of new opportunities to close
Shake my hand (virtually). Then together, we’ll shake the world.
Get the ball rolling with a free 20-min chat.