My about page
we don't give a damn about each other.
But i can make your customers love your brand.

you
cj

Can’t stand your boring site and dull brand voice that leads to high bounce rates and sudden-onset narcolepsy.

Want unignorable messaging that influences your customers to take action and tell their friends all about you.

Dream of getting more leads and revenue through email instead of hopelessly clinging to open rate metrics.

Uses voice of customer research to craft copy that oozes value and relatable personality your ideal customers love.

Taps into buyer psychology and proven frameworks to create powerful, emotive copy that makes people want your offer.

Never forgets that style is nothing without substance, so you always get conversion-focused copy that’s worth your money.

Have a site that is riddled with dull copy and a 2D personality, which leads to high bounce rates and sudden-onset narcolepsy.

Want a brand voice that influences your customers to take action and breeds fear and jealousy in your competitors.

Need to generate more qualified leads and sales through your website, instead of hopelessly clinging to traffic metrics.

Can’t stand your boring site and dull brand voice that leads to high bounce rates and sudden-onset narcolepsy.

Want unignorable messaging that influences your customers to take action and tell their friends all about you.

Dream of getting more leads and revenue through email instead of hopelessly clinging to open rate metrics.

Uses voice of customer research to craft copy that oozes value and relatable personality your ideal customers love.

Taps into buyer psychology and proven frameworks to create powerful, emotive copy that makes people want your offer.

Never forgets that style is nothing without substance, so you always get conversion-focused copy that’s worth your money.

Taps into data and customer research to craft copy that oozes value, relevance, and charm to hook people from top to bottom.

Will bust a gut to create an inimitable, captivating brand voice for every client, making them unmissable in their market.

Never forgets that style is nothing without substance, so only produces focused copy that drives the customer journey forward.
what?! did we just become best friends?
Get the ball rolling with a free 20-min chat.
what’s the craic?
(That’s Irish for “How are you? What’s happening?”)
Here’s the big secret to selling more online:
Storytelling.
That’s right – stories.
You know the best ones?
They’re the stories that leave an unforgettable impression, taking root in the mind, making people ponder long after the experience ends.
So that it’s never really over.
People gobble that stuff up. It’s human nature.
As a fiction addict, and creative copywriter, I love to help brands tell their story, so they can offer value to more people.
And ultimately, build their authority and the trust they have with their audience.
Because that’s where the sales magic happens.
I do this through:
- Website copy
- Email sequences
- Brand positioning
- Product descriptions
- YouTube video ad scripts
What’s your story?
christopher john haughey
What a mouthful.
CJ will do just fine.
- Father-of-two. Son-of-two.
- Manchester Utd fan (for my sins)
- Amateur kickboxer & crypto trader
why work with me?
I'm a...
- Former journalist
- Anti-boring copywriter
- Buyer psychology nerd
- Ecommerce growth fanatic
pssst… i know what you’re thinking.
You don’t have time to read my autobiography or hear about my English grades at school (A-star, I’ll have you know).
You just wanna’ know if I’m your guy.
My forte as a direct response copywriter is to combine proven frameworks and buyer psychology with strategic storytelling.
Which means…?
Your brand builds meaningful personal connections with your customers, earns their trust, and persuades them to buy more of your product or services.
New organic search traffic and higher website engagement.
CJ has a great understanding of enterprise tech. My favorite thing about working with CJ is his ability to take abstract ideas and create flowing, compelling copy and content. His work has led to new organic search traffic and higher website engagement.
Emily Williams
VP, Consulting Sales, Doppio Group

Do we click?
my 5 copywriting principles
I don’t dive in like some knucklehead with an itchy trigger finger. For me, communication and clarity are critical pillars that determine the success of any project. Before our mission begins, I make sure we’re on the same page with a crystal-clear scope that outlines the project, including goals, milestones, timelines, deliverables, and payment.
Good writers read. Great writers never stop. I embrace an ethos of continuous learning. Even if it’s a familiar industry for me, every project starts with a deep dive to gather new knowledge, tools, and techniques. It’s the only way I can help put businesses on the throne.
Of course, your goals for conversions and sales are paramount. But stodgy sales jargon and corporate humdrum are my kryptonite. I use voice-of-customer research to whip up conversational messaging that reveals your brand’s charming personality and seemingly telepathic powers. The result? You’re more relatable, likeable, and captivating.
Nobody cares about a cold, faceless business. With the right blend of emotive copy and logic, I give you a brand story that clicks with your kinda’ people. As I bring them along on the journey, your copy connects with your prospects on a deeper level, compelling them to take action.
All the creative wordplay comes second to your business goals. It doesn’t matter how many rough drafts and coffee refills have gone before. When the dust settles, you can be confident the final cut will be fluff-free, and driven by real data and solid research on what your customers actually want and need.
Honesty street: If I believe I lack the knowledge, passion, or desire to educate myself enough to kick ass on your project, I’ll tell you. Instead of bumbling our way to a B-rate product, I’ll try to hook you up with someone who is a better fit.
“If you’re not innovating, you’re regurgitating. it’s time to tell the story only you can tell.”
so, you can make this work - right?
I have a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career.
Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you your competitors.
when i’m not writing copy, you’ll find me:

Soaking up wisdom from copywriting masters, old and new. From Ogilvy, Caples, and Schwartz to Bird, Wiebe, and Georgi.

Setting my mind free in fiction novels, like a cerebral hunter-gatherer foraging for creative ideas from outside-the-barnyard.

Tinkering with my internal processes and systems to ensure I’ve got a well-oiled machine that delivers primo-grade, on time, every time.
learning
Soaking up wisdom from marketing masters, old and new. From Ogilvy and Schwartz to Patel, Wiebe, and Vee.
adventuring
Setting my mind free in fiction novels, like a cerebral hunter-gatherer foraging for inventive ideas from outside-the-box.
testing
Tinkering with my internal processes and systems to ensure my clients always have a reliable, well-oiled machine that delivers primo grade, on time, every time.
but enough about me
let’s talk about you
(and your project)
You can finally talk to an expert direct response copywriter (and expert listener) who can bring your vision to life with an unmistakable brand voice and persuasive messaging that hits your ideal customers right in the heartstrings.
you could wait for my waitlist to grow longer.
Or you could take action right now to get one step closer to:
- Unshackling your business from the dead weight of sloppy copy
- Establishing an authority voice that magnifies your reputation as a heavy hitter
- Opening the floodgates so your sales team has tons of new opportunities to close
Shake my hand (virtually). Then together, we’ll shake the world.
Get the ball rolling with a free 20-min chat.